My City

1-
Silent lights twinkling,
Flashing – past the moonlight,
Out of train compartment,
Peeping through the trees,
The running light augmented the beats of my heart.

Beggars in holy saffron wait,
On the platform,
Their holy kamandal,
Collecting dust and rain water,
But no offerings.

On the train trip,
Hawkers shouting their gullet out,
Selling cheaper fancy goods,
Ignorants buying,
The things but inside will forever bite their soul.

Stepping home – from lane to lane,
Crossing roads and streets,
Filled with dirt and stench,
Up to the street of Chatta Devi Das,
Down Padam Gate, Opposite Virat Bhawan.

Everything dusty, inside my home,
-the walls, sheet, fans, tea cups and glasses.
Brooding on the smell of glasses,
Still fresh in memory,
On a perfect wintry night- lest I die of cold.

Rising at the steps of Siddheshwar Temple,
I land, in an unknown space.
Looking for solace in a boundary-less cosmos.
Lost somewhere, on the remains;
This holy temple takes for eternal peace.

Of a starry and restless night,
Sweaty farmers working in wheat and sugarcane fields,
Siddheshwar pilgrimage attain glow and comfort,
To a forgotten self in a long journey of life:
Radiance in eyes and a new metaphor for life.

2.
I am in love with a land,
With a history of centuries,
As I walk down these dusty busy roads,
Centuries past flare my mind,
Questioning my existence.

Time pass and loath to wait,
Lord Siddheshwar, hidden in an ancient cave,
Protectors of truth and light from dark forces,
In this dark world, to make it livable,
And a learned Pundit blessing the devotees.

The rickshaw puller in rags and wrinkles;
Talked me in tired Hindi, all through the ride;
Crossing corners at careless speed,
Muttering Shiva hymns to get our destination sooner,
Defeating the unlit fear, brave soldiers of the believers.

Waiting for the divine light and miracle,
Where Shiv bhaktas meditative sat,
Observing fast at the Lord’s feet –
So much peace in nothingness,
Thousands of bhaktas sat on holy land.

Waiting for prasadam,
Outside the temple, under the holy peepal tree,
Discussing Ram Temple at Ayodhya.
I photograph the Lord, with trident,
And His bejewelled nakedness.

Realisation then comes painless,
Far from grip of strong beliefs and worldly noise;
As I see birds and flowers at the entrance to the same cave,
The God’s face illuminates,
Just when I thought I finally realised.

This life was in no way mine,
Never will be mine again,
Body left my self-aeons ago,
Before the light from heaven fell,
Time and fate played with the man.

3.
Time moves fast,
World filmed the acoustics of Lord,
To the chants of
“Oṃ Namah Shivaya…”
Reverberating across the cosmos.

And the blue Shiva on the temple gate,
In utter silence gazed,
At time holy saints smoking chilam on the floor.
Mohammad, our rickshaw puller,
Says he’s a Muslim and dons a large yellow tilak.

Meanwhile, elsewhere realisation
Comes with a cost, in a dejected city;
It’s never easy to stay balanced
On the dust remains of lost glories
Of my lost city – Khurja.

But balanced we must;
Escaping stars, strange planets, buses, cars,
Busy roads and lanes, across time zones,
And strives to not get slain,
By an unseen massive Superpower called Time.

For thy holy linga, milk, rice, flowers, dhatura;
But my own soul one with that super soul:
All the loaded honey of my life’s desire,
And all the sweet memories from my trodden life drawn,
Of optimism up-leaping like the radiance of dawn.

The rhythmic structure,
A divine creation,
The unseen god evokes the scene, consciousness wakes.
Time begins. World chant “Oṃ Namah Shivaya…”
Rhythm echoes the cosmos.

The bright headlights and yellow fairy lights,
Playing a game of hopscotch
In another man’s dream.
The rickshaw puller smoke doused cigarettes,
And collect wasted alcohol bottles.



Kamandal: A holy pot carried by Hindu Saints. Chatta Devi Das: A colony in Khurja.
Padam Gate: A gate in Khurja, constructed in memory of Late Padam Singh. Virat Bhawan: An inn, in memory of Pundit Virat Ji, in Khurja. Siddheshwar Temple; Ancient Lord Shiva Temple in Khurja. Pundit: Hindu religious and learned man, performing religious rituals.
Shiva.: Hindu God, as the destroyer. Shiv bhakta: Followers of Lord Shiva. Bhaktas: Followers.
Prasadam: Eatable items given at Hindu Temples. Peepal: A tree, treated as a holy tree by Hindus. Ram: Another Hindu God. Ayodhya: Birth place of Lord Ram, in Utter Pradesh, India. “Oṃ Namah Shivaya . . .” Holy Chant for Lord shiv. Chilam: A country made local smoking pipe. tilak.: Holy Hindu symbol, on the forehead. Linga: Penis of Lord Shiva, Hindus consider as holy. Dhatura: A poisonous fruit, generally offered at the altar of Lord Shiva. Khurja: Ancient city of Uttar Pradesh, India.